belated

When I was younger, I really thought that when it was your birthday, you were really supposed to feel it. I don't know what the feeling was supposed to be, exactly, but every birthday I was disappointed to wake up feeling the same as the day before. This expectation carried on until my late teens and was probably one of the last semblances of naiveté that I carried until I hit about nineteen and grew up wayyyy too fucking fast.

However, early this month, I woke up one morning and felt it. In place of the tinge of loneliness that usually sets in, I woke up and felt calm and whole and real. This is the part where Britney's "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman" starts playing in the background. Whatever, I don't know how to explain it, but I guess I really don't have to. It just felt... good. I can't say that I feel this way all the time now, but it's nice to know that I can.

Anyway. Here are some scans from the past two weeks.

The most perfect picture of Tania and a new friend, Ike.

I realized after- that this was the first time in a long time that I went out and I didn't have to text anyone when I got home. It was kinda sad/kinda rad.

I forgot this person's name but he told me some crazy shit and I have the most dead eyes and I'm not wearing a bra.

 Tami saw this picture and said, "You look young and dumb, but like, in a good way."

A cute pink house. You can see my car if you look close. I swerved into its driveway and ran out into the middle of the street to take the picture. I've been doing this a lot. I should probably stop.

Oh and Dean's feet and my feet.

Pomona being goth as fuck.

Sam invited me to this show and it was amazing.

Tami is one of my best friends. She tells me the truth and cares about animals.